Verlaine and Rimbaud (or Relationship Talks)

Ours was a happy and memorable relationship; we shared so many common traits that it leads me to believe we were solely MFEO. However, in later retrospect, I realized that it was, indeed, a romanticized friendship between a guy and a "tomboyish" girl, and that I had seen him as a male buddy, but more intimately than others. Relationship, for me, must occur between a male and a female. It is a unique social attachment of two people; it must be built on not only the similarities, but also on the opposition (which is true in the case of my current relationship).

It was my "masculine" features, not the feminine ones, that got along well with him. We were unaware of the necessity to be obtain femininity, neither did he stimulate that of me. Actually, he tried, but failed, which frustrated him because he thought that meant he was not “masculine” enough for me.

So we broke up unexplained. I suffered from the trauma for a long time, but still hoped that we could heal the relationship. But things always came up unexpected when I gained admission to an U.S college. It was not the fear of a long-distance relationship, but his feeling of being inferior to me that made me realize there would be no more hope for me. It is always a shame for oriental men to let their women outdo them. He thought so; and deep inside I might have thought the same thing.

Finally, after all of the struggles I have made to stand up against the traditional gender-based rules, I still lost. But since then, my perception of relationship has changed well. Now, the guy I would fall in love with, must be the one who would treat me as a woman and make me feel like a woman. That is, he must wake up the femininity inside of me, not in gestures and personalities, but behaviors [...]. Since my current boyfriend has that ability, I love him a lot.

I tried to elaborate the last sentence but I'm way too sleepy, plus I thought to some extent it was enough. Please do not take this blog personally.