overwhelming or overacting?

hey you,

the music comes right when i decide just to play with it. no seriousness. no commitment. i just want to play it, just as i like. with informality. with freedom. with my heart.

do you remember that, my dear? do i ever tell you that i don't want to be a musician. i'm just a human who love these enchanting melodies and love being emerged in them. moreover, i desire to make them my own, so that i can flow with them to every corner of my mind.

it is the adventure that i love to rattle on, but not for the rest of my life.
it is the place that i love to be at, but not to settle down.
just as it's a romance never meant for a happy ending.

do i ever tell you that i want to play music in a club? because people go there for a musical purpose; and i am there, not only for myself, but for them also. my feelings and their enjoyment mingle together, and the night turns into a show. i were not making a living as if in the day's time. at that time, i know i am making a life and living it.

but i remember telling you that you can let your passion become your career. you and i are different, don't you think? i have a responsibility to fulfill, a dream to pursue and a passion to keep (for myself). my life is divided into unequal parts, which i have to set priorities for. you have a passion that you devote your whole life to it. you are destined for it, and you have to chase it and acquire it.

i'm facing academic pressures and music compression, and wish i could be wise enough. and you're rolling on your way, happily...
do you know how much i'm jealous of you.